who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
