you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
