I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
