I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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