Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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