Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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