I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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