We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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