Just cropdusted the office
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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