My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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