He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
