You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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