'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's official drugs can't kill me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
