she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
