Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
