Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
