Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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