just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
