Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
