all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
