The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
