It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
