In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
