Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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