i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
