I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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