shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
