That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
