and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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