Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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