Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
