god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
