Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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