OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
