I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
