oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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