I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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