Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(956): View more from Texas

I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

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(516): View more from New York

i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets

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(973): View more from New Jersey

"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time

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(207): View more from Maine

Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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(408): View more from California

so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.

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(661): View more from California

You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.

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(208): View more from Idaho

only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up

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