Plan B is the new Plan A
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
