She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize