We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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