Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
