This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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