i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm like, not good at living.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
