I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
