Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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