You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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