If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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