I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
