I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
