you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
