I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is wine microwaveable?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
