FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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