I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
