I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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