We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
