So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
