I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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