dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
