i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
